Tell Me a Ghost Story
by MakeTheStarsFall
Summary: Takes place after 5th book, Haunted. What if Jesse never became human? What if he stayed a ghost for all of eternity? Would Suze ultimately be able to sacrifice her life to love him for ever? R&R appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, whats up? This is my second fan fiction... please read and review!! I've been wanting to do this story for awhile, just haven't gotten around to it, I guess.**

**Love, Panda**

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Suze's POV

Jesse shimmered and disappeared before I could finish what I was going to tell him. When I turned around I could see why.

"Why? Why can't you just stay out of my life? What is your problem?" I asked Paul Slater, who was standing in the doorway of my bedroom dressed in a freakin' tuxedo of all things.

"And _what the hell _are you wearing?" Paul looked at me, unamused.

"Suze, put a dress on. I'm taking you out to dinner." Paul said it so seriously that I laughed, almost nervously. He is stupider than I thought he was. And I thought he was _pretty_ stupid.

"Paul, what the hell makes you think _I'm_ going to go to dinner with _you_?" I raised my eyebrows at him questioningly. He smiled one of his I-know-what-I-want-and-I-know-just-how-to-get-it smirks. I glared straight back at him.

"Suze, if you don't go out with me, I can get rid of Jesse forever." My heart stopped beating, the blood freezing in my veins. I felt my face pale. He did _so _not just say that.

"W-w-what do you mean?" I said quietly and tilting my head cautiously. He gave me another sickenly sweet smile.

"You don't really want to find out, now do you?" I shook my head instinctively. Paul left for a few minutes so I could change. I slipped on a yellow paisley skirt and a light blue top and some Jimmy Choos, hating Paul every minute of it. Jesse, where are you? I thought to myself. He appeared an instant later, eyeing my outfit from top to bottom.

"Querida, what—" I cut him off frantically.

"It's Paul Slater. He's back, and he says if I don't go on this date with him," I fastened a necklace behind my neck, "then he's going to make you… disappear. Forever." You could tell Jesse was trying to fight back a laugh. He touched the side of my face.

"You don't have to do anything with Slater, Susannah." And… there I went. I melted into his deep pools of dark intelligence where his eyes were supposed to be. My knees wobbled and I threw my arms around him. He held on to me tightly. This was one of those times where I never wanted to let go.

"Querida, if he lays a hand on you…" Jesse didn't finish the sentence he murmured into my ear, but I had a pretty distinct feeling of what was going to happen to Paul if he hurt me. Not that I wouldn't hurt him back, of course.

I tilted my head up so my lips would brush his, my eyes closing. Jesse's lips moved in a comforting rhythm over mine, but it was short lived, unfortunately. Paul came in right at that moment. Curse his grandchildren.

"You two make me sick. Come on Suze." I was pulled away by Paul from Jesse and Jesse's worried eyes met my disgusted ones briefly before Jesse disappeared to wherever ghosts go when they leave their girlfriends to a sadistic shifter. Oh, joy is my life.

Paul yanked me into his car, which was way to fancy for me.

"Suze, I don't even know why you stay with that guy. I mean, he can't even buy you a freakin' cup of coffee." I glared at him.

"I hate coffee!!" I screamed, shooting a death stare at him. Paul just shrugged. I rolled my eyes.

"_You _make me sick, Slater." I paused for a moment as we sped away to some fancy restaurant that I wouldn't even like. Not because the food was bad or anything, but because I was with Paul and not Jesse. Which sucked.

"Paul," he ignored me, but appeared to grip the steering wheel harder, "you said I had to go on this date with you. You never said I had to be civil. You never even said I had to talk to you." I clamped my mouth shut and stared straight ahead at the busy road, my arms crossed indignantly.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys... thanks so much for reviewing!! I owe you all big time. I now accept anonymous reviews. I actually didn't know I had it turned off, though. sorry...**

**love, panda**

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Suze's POV

We started in the car down a long, narrow road. It was a twisty, turvy road that Paul just zoomed down in his BMW. I made it a point to sigh hysterically and cross my arms dramatically, silently wishing I was back in Jesse's arms.

Paul zipped down a long and twisting drive and parked his car. But we weren't at a restaurant. Oh, no, not at a restaraunt at all.

We were at his house.

"I'm not sleeping with you. I'm also not getting out of this car." I said simply as Paul sighed, got out of the car and opened my door, unbuckling me and lifting me out of the car firefighter style. I made sure to kick him in the face. Hard.

He carried me up the stairs to his room, where he sat me on the bed. He sat next to me.

"I'm not sleeping with you." I repeated.

"I don't see how much control you have over that." Paul whispered in which could be considered a seductive way, but it sounded retarded on him. I'm afraid only Jesse could pull that off.

I have a plan.

Paul reached over and started kissing me, slowly unraveling the shirt I had on, and I kissed back, my hands reaching to the back of his neck. I grabbed some neck hairs and twisted, pulling my face away from his.

"Ow!! What the hell is wrong with you?" His shoulders scrunched up in an uncomfortable position as I twisted. With my other hand I smacked his face.

"Geez, woman!" Then Jesse appeared.

"Jesse, what are you doing here?" I knew what his answer was going to be, but still.

"You called, querida." Then he looked at Paul, who I had harnessed around the neck with a pillowcase.

"Querida--"

"I'll explain later. Promise. Right now help me tie him up." Jesse's response was the fist that came flying through the air and crashed into Paul's face. Paul grunted loudly.

I took another pillowcase and tied his legs up, followed with his arms that had been flinging around pathetically trying to hit Jesse back.

"Jesse, stop. Please." Jesse's fists stopped pounding Paul for awhile, but I knew it wouldn't last long. Jesse stepped back and we looked at Paul, who looked very pathetic, with his limbs tied up and a gag, compliments of Jesse, around his mouth. Then I gazed up at Jesse.

"Can we go now, Jesse?" He looked back at me with a small smile on his face.

"Of course, Susannah. Back to your house?" I nodded and he was about to disappear, but I stopped him.

"Walk with me. It's a long way and I might get lonely."

"Would you like me to carry you, querida?"

"Yes, please." He lifted me effortlessly off the ground, carrying me not fireman style, but bridal style, my arms around his neck. We strolled out of Paul's room, descended down the long marble staircase, and walked down the winding drive one could call a driveway.

"Querida, did he hurt you?" Jesse whispered quietly, his worried eyes gazing into mine.

"No." I leaned my head against his chest. "But he kissed me." I guess that's all it took for Jesse to shift me around so I was holding on like a monkey, or a front-wards backpack and start kissing the breath out of me, still walking the entire time. How the hell did I end up with a guy this talented?

After a minute he stopped and started spitting.

"You don't taste like yourself." I almost laughed, but decided against it.

"What do I taste like, then?"

"_Him._" He said disgustedly. This time I did laugh and wrap my arms around him, melting into him. Not his chest, not his arms, not his face, not his eyes, but him. Just him. I melted into Jesse. And it felt good.

"And... _how_ do you know what Paul tastes like again? I missed that part?" Jesse chuckled and kissed me again, squeezing me closer to him as we walked along the cliff-side road. I tightened my grip around his neck and took his face in both of my hands and pulled his face as close as I could get it to mine.

**(A/N the next couple of sentences I give credit to BiteMePlease180 because of her amazing skillz... thank you rachel for not suing me for plagerism. or for stealing.)**

I slid my tongue along his bottom lip which, unfortunately, caused Jesse to moan and pull away.

"Dammit, Susannah, you have _got_ to stop doing that." I knew why, but I wanted him to say it.

"And why is that?" I whispered. He sighed and looked me in the eye.

"Because, querida. When you do that, or, essentially, anything of that nature," _Why_ doe he have to spoil the moment by using big words? "I want you more than I should." He said the last part quietly, and I grinned and kissed him lightly on the lips before completely melting into his arms and giving up on consciousness.

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**Thanks for reading!! now time for the reviewing!! next chapter should b up tomorrow or the next day. love, panda  
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	3. Chapter 3

**Hey you guys... read and review, please. this is not a bad chapter... if i do say so myself. love, panda**

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Suze's POV

When I woke up I was laying on my bed and Jesse was gone. Damn.

I recapped the night before in my head.

I laughed, recalling how Jesse complained I tasted like Paul. I had to think for a minute to remember what Paul _did _taste like, not that I wanted to remember it or anything. I think he tasted a little like toothpaste. I'm so glad Jesse is a ghost and doesn't have to brush his teeth. Not that he needs to, or anything. He always tastes good. Really good.

I turned my head to the side, only to see Jesse sitting on the edge of my bed, gazing at me.

"What were you thinking about, querida?" I laughed silently to myself. Which actually doesn't make any sense, but whatever.

"About how you taste." Color rushed to Jesse's cheeks, although it wasn't much considering he's (cringe) dead and everything. Then he smiled in what could be considered flirtatiously, except Jesse really doesn't do the flirting thing. It's weird, because I'd never really thought about that before. Him not flirting with me, I mean. Then again, it kinda maybe sorta really makes sense. Jesse's wayyyyyyyyy too sexy for flirting.

"Do I taste good?" He smirked a little and looked at me with suggestively raised eyebrows out of the corner of his right eye.

"Very." He chuckled, leaning over my horizontal body to kiss me gently, softly.

"Do I?" I asked him, whispering into his lips. He pulled away a second later, nodding slowly. I told myself that he didn't want to ruin the moment by talking, though I doubt that was the actual reason. Or maybe it was. Jesse was always so hard to read. I, on the other hand, am an open book. Jesse is like a big, fat, sexy dictionary with the pages glued shut, after it's been dipped in water so the words are blurred. See how hard my life is?

I stared at him for a few sweet, long minutes, just admiring his godly sexiness. Jesse peered back at me expectantly.

"Really?" I said quietly. He cupped the back my head in his right hand and pulled my face closer to his. Right before he covered my mouth with his, he whispered, "Really, really."

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"SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUze!!" Brad called out from downstairs, putting extra emphasis on the 'Su' and less on the 'ze'. He did this because he _knew_ it annoyed the crap out of me. I broke away from Jesse's mouth for a split second to thunder back, "WhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAt?", yelling it in the way I knew annoyed him. Jesse winced at my loudness.

"DiNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNer!!" I sighed, and kissed Jesse again before sitting up and starting towards the door. Jesse stayed on my bed and outstretched a hand that looked like it was longing to hold mine. But that might have been my imagination.

"Wait, querida, I-- oh, never mind." I stopped and turned around to look at him.

"No, what? Tell me, or I'm not moving." I planted my feet into the ground and crossed my arms with a smile on my face.

Jesse took a deep breath before speaking again.

"Querida, I--" But he was cut off by an asshole.

"SUUUUUUUUUUUUU-UUUUUUUUUUUUze!!" Brad had now managed to turn my monosyllabic name into a more-than-one-syllable name. Which is sort of sad. I looked back at Jesse.

"Come back later tonight, say, eleven thirty, and you can tell me. I think if I don't go now there's going to be some more yelling. And possibly flying skillets." **(A/N yes! amazing band)**

Jesse scrunched his face up hesitantly, like what he was going to say took lots of preparation and Brad just ruined his moment. I will make sure to kill Brad for that.

"Promise me?" I whispered.

"SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZEEE!!" Now it was Andy yelling at me. I'd better go now.

"Promise, Susannah. Good-bye." He floated over and kissed me again before shimmering and vanishing. I sighed again and ran down the stairs.

"What on earth were you doing up there?" I rolled my eyes as my mother asked me this question with her hands on her hips.

"I was _painting _my _nails_." I waved them in her face. I had painted them the day before just in case a moment like this came up. Kidding. Besides, she should be happy that I'm taking an interest my femininity.

"Whatever, Suze, just sit down so we can eat." I shot Brad a death stare for multiple reasons. Then I sat down in my usual spot next to David and smiled a sickenly sweet smile at Brad.

"Sure, Your Highness." He rolled his eyes at me, but I shrugged and dug into some ribs while everyone looked at me stuff my face. I peered up at them, and grumbled with my mouth full, "Wajdlft?" **(A/N What?)**

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**review, review, review**... **if you can guess ( in a review) what Jesse was going to tell her, then I'll post sooner than I was going to. (: Love, Panda**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys... all the guesses were wrong and wayyyyyyyyyyy off. read and review, please. love, panda**

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Suze's POV

Everyone just laughed at me when I asked them that. I have a really weird family. Anyway, I stuffed my face and ran back upstairs to take a long, hot shower. I slipped out of the t-shirt and jeans I was wearing and stepped into the shower, thinking about what Jesse might have been going to say. I'm blank. I honestly have no idea what he was going to say. Dammit, that's going to drive me insane.

After shaving and shampooing, I got out and towel dried myself. I ran around my room in a towel trying to find some underwear, which was, as it should be, in the drawer. Then I set off on the mission to find some PJs. They, also, were in their drawer. They were red silk pants with a red silk flowy tank top, which I'd bought in China Town down in San Francisco. I happen to know I look very good in these pajamas. Then again, it's hard not to.

Then I sat on my bed and read until Jesse came back at eleven thirty, on the dot. Looking sexy as ever, he laid down next to me on the bed and folded his hands on his chest. I put my book down and rolled on top of him, something he never liked me doing. He says that makes it hard to restrain himself, or whatever. Whatever it is, it's a lame excuse. I know that much. He didn't stop me or try to convince me to get off of him, though, this time. I snuggled into his chest and laced my fingers around his neck.

"You were going to tell me something earlier, remember?" I prompted him. He took a deep breath.

"Yes, querida. I don't know if I can say it now, though." Jesse murmured quietly into my ear. I sighed.

"Why not?" I breathed, digging myself deeper into him. Jesse took another deep breath.

"Because, Susannah. I had everything planned out perfectly, and it was all going to work out. I had all of my courage worked up, everything. And then your brother, Brad, called you for dinner. I could've killed him." I laughed.

"Would you like me to do that for you?" I asked him. He chuckled. Then it hit me, what he was going to say. Everything suddenly made so much sense. A tear rolled unintentionally down my cheek and Jesse touched his thumb to my chin, turning my face up towards his.

"What's the matter, querida?" He said it so quietly I had to inch myself up closer to his face.

"Nothing. It's just that... you... don't have to tell me. I know. You show me every day." I looked into his knee-melting eyes, and although he didn't smile with his mouth, he smiled with his eyes, like he was trying not to smile. Jesse then gripped his hands gently around my waist and lifted me closer to his face so that my lips were hovering right above his. I started to lower mine to meet his, but he put a finger to mine and whispered, "Well... Susannah, I was actually going to tell you something different than what you thought I was going to say earlier." He had a very serious expression on his face, which I have never liked. My heart stopped beating. Did I assume wrongly? Does he not love me? I think I could scream right now. Very loudly.

He touched the side of my face and removed his hands from my waist.

"Susannah, I was going to tell you that... it... has to end. Us." My heart stopped beating for real, and my breathing sped up, my blood running cold. There's only one thing I could think to say; the truth in its entirety.

"But... I love you." I whimpered in a weak attempt to convince him otherwise, though I knew it was worthless. Jesse's face scrunched up and his sad eyes gazed into mine before twinkling and disappearing. I flopped down on my bed and started crying.

Jesse's POV

I am such an idiot.

Not only did she think I was going to say I loved her, which I do, very much so, but I figured saying it would make all of this harder.

How wrong I was.

Ending it was the only way. I would move on sometime, and better now than then for her to be crying. I guess.

And now she thinks I don't love her and never did.

And the sad part is that she doesn't know how wrong she is.

After disappearing from her sight, I went to my grave and sat down on the headstone, thinking about my foolishness and what an idiot I am and how damn much I want her.

Suze's POV

I took a deep breath and headed out the door, tears still running down my cheeks. I ran as fast as I could to where I knew he was. This needed to be talked out. I ran down the big hill towards the Mission and slowly opened the creaky gate to the cemetery.

Tip-toeing to the far right corner of the cemetary, I spotted him, sitting on his headstone. I don't think he saw me.

I went up to him and placed my hand on his shoulder. He jumped a little bit and started to shimmer. I grabbed his other shoulder.

"Oh, no you don't. You will stay. And we will talk. You don't get away with saying something like that without an explanation."

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**ooooh... suspension. i'm a dork... review, please love, panda**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys... read and review, please.**

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Suze's POV

Jesse looked sadly and uncomfortably into my eyes. I averted his gaze because I knew if I looked into those beautiful eyes I would melt, and then nothing would be accomplished. And that is _not _why I'm here.

I took a seat against the headstone, leaning up against it. The tip of my right ear brushed his leg. There seemed to be only one word I could think to say, and that was,

"Why?" I said softly. Jesse sighed.

"Susannah, you know it was going to have to end sometime. Father Dominic was right--"

"NO!," I erupted, "Father Dom has never been right. He doesn't know what he's talking about..." I trailed off, thinking about the possibility that Jesse and Father Dominic were actually _right._

"Susannah, will you let me finish?" He said patiently.

"Why should I?" I said bitterly. Right now, I don't know why I'm being such a bitch if I want him back so much. It seemed to come rather naturally.

He ignored my bitchy comment.

"Susannah, I'm a GHOST! I'm DEAD!" Jesse yelled, waving his arms in the air. I cringed. "You can't go on denying it forever." He muttered softly.

"I've never denied it. I've chosen to ignore it... Besides, haven't you ever heard of forbidden... love?" I said the L-word quietly, and his eyes drifted for a few minutes while I stared back at him hopefully.

Jesse's POV

Dammit, why did she have to go and say that? Why did she go and have to say 'love'? I'm going to crack soon, mostly because my self-control is kind of crappy at the moment.

"Well, it's wrong." I said quietly, slightly hoping she wouldn't hear me. But, Susannah being Susannah, she did.

"Well, Bush is wrong. Kicking little puppies is wrong. Child abuse is wrong. Rape is wrong. Hiring illegal immigrants is wrong. The rest of the world isn't doing anything about these problems. Why do we have to do something? Why do we have to be different?" She was getting emotional quickly, and I had a feeling there might be some tears; and she's not a crier.

"Susannah, you have to be with a real... boy."

"I don't want a freakin' 'real boy'!! I want you..." Her pleading eyes bored into mine, but I looked away. She was making this much harder than it already was.

Susannah stood up and perched on the headstone next to me, still staring straight ahead.

Suze's POV

I decided I was going to do something Father Dominic said I should never use with Jesse; I was going to use my so-called 'feminine wiles' to get him to do what I want; to think my way.

I looked into his eyes, resisting the urge to Melt.

"Don't do this to me. Jesse, I lo--" He cut me off.

"No, Susannah, don't say it. It will only make things harder." He had a sharp, steely edge to his voice that he never used with me. I started breathing a bit faster. This wasn't going the way I was aiming for.

"But, but, but--"

"No, Susannah. Don't say it." He warned me, but still refused to glance my way.

"BUT... ILOVEYOU!!" I blurted out as loud as I could, slurring the words together so he wouldn't interrupt me again. He looked at me in which I would like to think was longingly.

"Susannah, I... I have to go." He started to shimmer. I started yelling again.

"Jesse, stop running away from your problems!! This needs to be talked out. Might as well be now." My voice had become slightly shrilly with nervousness and I outstretched a hand to him. He stopped shimmering and stared at me apologetically, but with a firm edge to it.

"Susannah, there is nothing to talk out. We need to stop seeing each other. Good-bye." He said it softly.

"Jesse, wait!" But he was already gone. I slinked down the headstone and held on to it, like it was all I had left of him, and, theoretically, it was. He was gone, and it seemed like he wasn't coming back.

I gripped on to the headstone for dear life and cried my way to morning.

Jesse's POV

I did what had to be done. So why do I feel like I was kicked in the stomach?

I would never hurt my querida, physically. Before, I also told myself I would never hurt her emotionally or mentally, that I would never break her heart. But somehow, deep inside, I knew I would have to eventually, whether I would or even could tell her myself.

I love her so much.

Damn.

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**Please review. love, panda**


	6. Chapter 6

**Yello... ha! thanks so much for all of the reviews, guys. keep reviewing... this is kind of inspired by Let's Call her the Tarryn, one of my faithful reviewers. Don't worry, there will b more Paul action.**

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Suze's POV

In the morning, after I think I was dehydrated from crying so much, I waddled home lifelessly. Andy and Mom didn't even ask where I was when I shuffled inside. They just shrugged and continued eating their Muslix or organic natural made-from-horse-crap granola. And they say I'm not cheerful in the morning.

I went upstairs and took a shower, yanked on some bright pink capris, and a lime green top. I must say I looked very flirty. Then I took a deep breath and dialed CeeCee's phone number on the phone.

"Yellow?" She always slurred the letters together so 'hello' sounded like 'yellow'. I did it occasionally as well.

"Hey, Cee. What are you up to?"

"Not much. You?" CeeCee sounded distracted.

"Nothing. Where are you?"

"Um... I'm in Hawaii on vacation. I told you that a week ago." Oh yeah. Anyway, back to the point. Score!! Now I can do illegal things behind her back... which is evil, but is better than the alternative: Paul.

"How long will you be gone? I'm having a brain fart and can't remember." She laughed.

"Another week or so. I'll call you when I'm home and we can get together or something."

"Bye, Cee."

"See ya, Suze." I hung up and then dialed Adam's number.

"Hey, Adam, let's do something. I'll be at your house in ten minutes."

"Okay, Suze, but... why?"

"Don't ask questions. See you in a few."

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I am such a bad girl, making out with one of my best friends and my other best friend's love interest right after the guy I love dumped me. But dammit, I couldn't help myself. And besides, Jesse should be happy for me. I'm with a 'real boy'. Although I did have a feeling someone was watching me while I sucked face with Adam...

Adam's hands slipped up my shirt and as wrong as it all felt, I didn't stop him. His lips on mine, though... felt strange. It didn't really feel right. I broke away after a good ten minutes lying on his bed with his hands in my bra, and gasped for air. Adam had a wild grin on his face; a strange, crazed look in his blue eyes, like he was insane with pleasure.

"I- I'm sorry Adam. I have to go." I grabbed my stuff as he nodded, still dazed.

I turned around to leave and ran right into Jesse, who disappeared as soon as I saw him, embarrassed, I guess. Or possibly jealous... I did catch a glimpse of his face though, before he left. He looked sad. Really, really sad. With a touch on longingness and jealousy.

I ran down Adam's marble staircase (the McTavish's were super rich) and flung myself out the door, taking off in some random direction, thinking to myself all the wrongs I'd committed and how bad (okay, not bad, but... strange and wrong) it felt to have Adam's hands in places where Jesse's were supposed to be. To have Adam's tongue where Jesse's was supposed to be. To have his body where Jesse's was supposed to be; next to mine.

Then another thought hit me; if CeeCee found out, then I'm out of friends. Also, if Adam actually thought I liked him or something, then I was in trouble. This all is, by the way, Jesse's fault. I mean, if he wasn't being so stubborn and butt head-ish, then none of this would have happened.

While I was running in my random direction that appeared to be headed towards town, Jesse appeared next to me again. I grabbed his arm instinctively.

"You're not leaving this time. Why were you in Adam's room with me? With us?" Jesse looked pained and embarrassed.

"You called, Susannah." Jesse said softly, looking down at his feet. I stopped in my tracks. That made me realize the entire time I was making out with Adam, I had been thinking about Jesse, pretending Adam was Jesse. I sat down right where I was, in the middle of the road pavement. It was fairly early in the morning so there wasn't much traffic. I patted the ground next to me, gesturing for Jesse to sit down by me. He sighed slightly but obliged.

"Why do we have to do this?" I said quietly, looking into his eyes and Melting. Jesse now looked slightly aggravated.

"Susannah, we've already had this discussion. It's for the best."

"Not for me." I argued.

"Yes, Susannah. Yes for you. And... I'd better go." Right before he left, I did something I couldn't help myself from doing. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Jesse has got to be the most hypocritical person ever; he kissed me back. Moohahahaha. He broke away, gasping for breath, **(A/N I know that doesn't make much sense, but whatever.) ** after he realized what he'd been doing.

"Susannah." He said warningly.

"Um... sorry? But you kissed me back." I fired back at him. Now he looked stumped.

I heard a low grumbling in the distance. Jesse pulled me out of the way right before the car would've squashed me. We landed in some bushes on the side of the road, our faces not an inch apart.

"Jesse, please stay." I pleaded weakly. He disappeared before I could say anything else.

I realized he hadn't called me 'querida' in a long time.

I stayed where I was on the side of the road in the fetal position, crying with out tears.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, what's up... keep reviewing.**

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Suze's POV

"Hmm... left you out to dry again, did he?" Crap. The. World. I grunted in response.

"Paul, please remove your self from my love life." I didn't see him roll his eyes, but I sensed it. He crouched down to my level and parted my leafy hair away from my eyes with his fingers. I didn't have the energy to try to smack him.

"You know, Suze, I could give you everything you could ever imagine. And _I _can buy you a damned cup of coffee."

"How many times do I have to tell you how much I hate coffee?" Paul didn't say anything, but extended an hand to help me up. I grabbed it, pulling myself to his level. Then I balled up my right fist and punched him as hard as I could in the nose, breaking it for sure. I stood there, my fists clenched at my side, seething. Paul crumpled to the ground. Blood was spurting like mad out of his general nasal area.

"Suze... just think... of it... of... the life we could have... together." He managed to choke out, but I completely ignored that sickening comment.

"Maybe I don't love you. Maybe I never will. Maybe I love _Jesse._" Then I stepped on Paul's stomach, putting all of my weight on his abdomen. He puked all over my new Birkenstocks. Curse his grandchildren.

"Paul Slater, stay out of my life."

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I had managed to make my way back to my house and took yet another shower. Then I rode my bike to the Mission to see Father Dom. He was in his office, as he should be.

"Father D., what did you say to Jesse?" I said rather calmly for the emotional state I was in. Father Dominic didn't even look up from the book he was reading. Take a guess: the Bible.

"Susannah, I told him it should end because it would eventually, and that you should be with a live, human boy." I said the same thing to Father D that I said to Jesse earlier.

"Father Dom, haven't you ever heard of forbidden love?" He sighed and set down the Bible.

"Yes, Susannah, I have. And I know for a fact that it rarely turns out well." I thought about how he had fallen for a ghost himself in his teenager-hood.

"You say rarely. You didn't say it _never_ turns out well." I pleaded.

"Can you please just tell Jesse to come back? I want him, I _need_ him too much. Besides, I need him around to protect me." Father D stifled a laugh at that one, but nodded slowly.

"I might speak to Jesse about it. Maybe we can find an alternative..." He trailed off, thinking deeply, though it probably wasn't about my love life dilemma.

"Promise, Father Dominic." I said softly. Father D looked at my longing eyes, my pleading eyes, and nodded swiftly this time.

"I'll speak to him tonight."

"Father Dom, if I can't be with Jesse, then... then life's not worth living." I said it quietly, and he looked extremely alarmed.

"Susannah, don't go and do anything rash until I talk to Jesse, please." I laughed bitterly.

"When have _I _ever done anything rash?" Father D didn't say anything, but waved good-bye as I walked out the door. I didn't go home, but sat down outside in the courtyard of the Mission. I thought about Jesse until he showed up.

"Susannah, what do you want?" He sounded a little distracted and slightly irritated. I gazed into his eyes; those beautiful pools of intelligence.

"I want _you_, Jesse." His face scrunched up like it did when he was annoyed or was thinking hard.

"Please stop calling me, Susannah." It sounded like he had to choke it out, but that might have been a figment of my imagination. He was gone before I could say anything in response. I had a feeling next time I called him he wouldn't come.

I rode my bike back up the big hill back to my house and went inside to talk to my mom. I found her lounging on her bed, reading a book.

"Mom?" I said quietly, perching carefully on the edge of the bed.

"Mmhm?" She didn't look up from the Lois Lowry she was reading.

"Mom... what do you do if the person you love is being amazingly buttheaddish and stubborn?" She looked at me over the tops of her reading glasses suspiciously.

"Susie, just give them time. If they love you, they'll come back." That made me gulp. What if Jesse didn't love me? What if I have to live the rest of my life wondering?

I shuffled away with those thoughts in mind to my room, where I sat down and wrote Jesse a letter.

_Dear Jesse,_

_I understand that you're doing what you think is right. The thing is, you're hurting me more than you thought you would. You're hurting me more than you know, more than you obviously meant to. I want you to know as long as I can see ghosts and as long as I'm alive, I will love you. I'm sorry Jesse, but if seeing me with a boy that's alive is what you want, I don't think I can do that. I couldn't do that to myself, and I couldn't do that to you. I'm sorry and I love you. Maybe I'm sorry _that _I love you..._

_Love,_

I wasn't sure what to write there, because I call myself Suze, but he calls me Susannah...

_Love, Susannah_

There. I put it in an envelope and sent it to Father Dominic down at the Mission, with a note to forward it to Jesse. Then the phone rang.

"Suze?" A pathetic male sounding voice came from the other end of the phone, and it could only be one person: Paul Slater.

"_Why_ can't you stay out of my life?" I said bitchily.

"Suze, but I _want _you, I _need _you..." I reconsidered. I was extremely mad at Jesse and his butt headish actions, so...

"You know what, Paul," I cooed flirtatiously, "I'll be right over."

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**Review, review, review. love, panda**


	8. Chapter 8

**Keep in mind that right now Suze is ticked off at Jesse, but she still loves him, and at the moment she will go to any extreme to make him jealous. This might be a shorter chapter, but very dramatic, if I do say so myself. Read and review, please. Love, Panda**

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Suze's POV

I stole my mother's car and drove over to Paul's house, thinking to myself about how I hadn't thought of this before... the perfect revenge.

Paul greeted me at the door with a grin that was just slightly sadistic. I smiled back.

"Suze, I'm so glad you changed your mind." He took my hand and guided me upstairs to his room and sat down on his bed, gesturing for me to sit down next to him.

"So... why again did you change your mind? I missed that part..." I leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips, silencing his irritating voice.

"You don't really want to know, now do you?" He shrugged and pulled me into his arms and whispered gruffly before kissing me again, "I knew you'd come around to my way eventually, Suze."

Before I had a chance to kiss him back, he'd slipped his hands under my shirt. (which I actually despised and thought was disgusting, but went along with it for the sake of annoying Jesse. Because even though he wanted me to be with a real boy, I don't think he could stand the sight of me and Paul together. Anywho...) Once more, Paul tasted like toothpaste, which made me think again of how Jesse doesn't, which brought Jesse into my head, which meant he was probably standing right behind me.

Oh, joy is my life.

I kissed Paul back hard and ran my fingers through his slightly damp hair. (I guess (hope) he'd taken a shower.) His hands dipped inside my 34 B, making me shiver in not-such-a-good-way. He pulled away briefly.

"You like that, now do you?" I gave him a tiny smile that hopefully translated as 'no', but who knows. This is Paul we're talking about, now.

He went back to kissing me, planting really wet and kind of sickening smooches (yes, 'smooches' really is the word for it) along my neck. Note to self: sanitize neck with Clorox Bleach after escaping from Paul's mouth.

His tongue pressed itself into my mouth (ew. enough said.) and I willed myself not to puke in his mouth, though he completely deserved it.

Paul stopped mauling me for a few moments to reach down and unbutton his pants.

"No." I blurted out before I could muster the insanity to say otherwise. My virginity will belong to _Jesse _someday, not Paul. Paul glanced up at me quizzically after discarding his belt.

"Why not, Suze?"

"Because I said so." I said quietly and considered leaving. I turned around just in time to see Jesse disappear. Why is he not sticking around to watch me seek revenge on him? Oh, my gosh. I am so high right now it's not even funny. (not literally).

Paul let his hands wander to try to unbutton _my _pants. I smacked his hand away.

"Ow!," he whined, "why not, Suze?"

"I. Said. No." I growled. Paul shrugged again and went back to kissing me. I noted that his pants were still unbuttoned. I would button them back up myself, but that's just... ew. And gross.

Jesse's POV

I went back to keeping an eye on Susannah, so that Paul didn't do anything to... harm her, I suppose. Or try to do anything sexual that Susannah's not comfortable with. Although her with Paul, I must admit, makes me shiver in not-such-a-good-way.

His hands were up her shirt, something I had yearned to do so many times but knew I shouldn't.

There seemed to be something different about the way she kissed Paul compared to me. I think it's just that she's, well, less... emotional with Paul, I guess. They stopped for a moment to argue about something or another.

"No, Paul, I said no. You should respect that..." She trailed off, and I guess sensed that I was here, so I vanished before she could turn around.

Suze's POV

"Well, Suze, maybe I _don't_ respect that." I tilted my head cautiously and glanced warily at him.

"What-- what do you mean, Paul?" I said slowly. Now I see... Oh. My. God.

He went to his bedside table and pulled out a gun.

It wasn't a big gun, just a pistol, but still. It was loaded. And pointed at my head.

"Suze," Paul said manically, "don't make me do this."

"Paul, I am _not _sleeping with you." I stood up next to his bed and put my hands on my hips. The gun followed my head.

"Fine, Suze. Go ahead and have it your way."

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**Review and I'll post the next chapter soon... love, panda**


	9. Chapter 9

**  
Hey guys... read this one, you'll love it... Inspiration by "Hello" and "My Last Breath", both by Evanescence. **

**You know what is freakin' hilarious? NONE of you guessed what was going to happen... you all thought Jesse was going to kick Paul's ass... Don't cry too much... ;). love, panda**

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Suze's POV

"Paul, you don't want to do this." I said slowly and quietly, raising my hands and trying to sneakily inch my way towards the door.

"You're right, Suze, I don't. But-- if you have sex with me right now, I won't do it." I think Paul tried to make the last sentence sound like if I did what he wanted me to do, it would be like winning the freakin' lottery. I don't think so.

He had a crazed look in his eyes and his hands trembled as he pointed the pistol at me head.

"Paul, I'm not sleeping with you. And besides, why would I want to have sex with someone who is intent on killing me?" Paul laughed bitterly.

He pulled the trigger.

Jesse's POV

I got there just in time to see Paul Slater plant a bullet in Susannah's head.

If my heart was beating in the first place, it would've stopped.

I didn't pay any attention to Paul, but rushed over to Susannah as fast as I could. I caught her crumpling body in my arms and held her tightly but gently. I whispered a prayer over and over again that she didn't just die, that she will still have her entire life to live. That she wouldn't leave me.

"Querida, wake up. You're stronger than this... don't leave me."

Susannah opened her eyes briefly and whispered so softly I could barely hear her, one single word, her last word on Earth. My name.

"Jesse..." Her eyes closed and her head lolled back wards. I kissed her lightly on the lips, hoping a small hope that, that would possibly resuscitate her... but to no avail. I also didn't want her last kiss on earth to be from... _him_.

"No..." It was a weak plea from me, but still.

I felt her pulse, held my hand over her heart in hopes to hear, to feel a heartbeat, a breath. But there was nothing.

I took her bloody head gently in my hands and kissed her again, the softest I'd ever kissed her.

"I love you, querida."

Suze's POV

My head didn't hurt anymore.

I stood up and started walking into a blinding light, into a seemingly never ending tunnel of light surrounded by darkness. It was like I was the light in that eternal night; I was glowing and literally lighting up the darkness. I thought about what just happened. Wait. If Paul just shot me, then why am I...

Holy. Crap.

I'm dead.

I stopped walking and froze, but I was pulled farther through the tunnel by a strong, almost magnetic force.

I saw Chariot Guy, from when I went to get Jesse back.

Jesse.

"Susannah Simon," Chariot Guy boomed loudly. I stared in amazement at him.

"Susannah Simon, you are dead. You are a ghost. You will--" I cut him off and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. 'Roam the earth for eternity until you resolve the problem of which you are here.' I deal with the dead on a daily basis."

"Now you are one of them." I froze again.

Jesse. He's a ghost... and... I'M A GHOST!!

That means... we can be together. Forever.

I have got to go find him.

I willed myself to go to Paul Slater's bedroom. The surroundings around me blurred, I saw another bright light, then an endless darkness. Then I saw Jesse leaning over my (cringe) dead body, kissing me and whispering prayers, over and over. I stared at my body for awhile, realizing how pathetic I looked and how Jesse was...

Jesse was kissing me. He was praying that I was still alive.

That meant...

He loved me.

"I love you , querida." He whispered to my body. My non-beating heart jumped at those four simple words. I stared solemnly at him and took a deep breath and floated (yes, floated!) over to him, touching him lightly on the shoulder. I don't think he noticed.

"Jesse..." I said softly. He peered strangely at my body and then turned around to gape open mouthedly at me.

"Querida!" He said in a surprised yet thankful voice, setting my body very gently on the ground. Then he wrapped his arms around me as tightly as I think he could. I Melted and held on for dear life (death?).

"Jesse, I--"

"No, querida, _I'm _sorry. I never should have treated you like I did, I just..." He trailed off and looked deeply into my eyes.

"Thought you were doing what was best." I finished softly for him. He touched his hands gently to the sides of my head and pressed our foreheads together.

"Querida, I love you." He said it slowly, and then he covered my mouth in a kiss so hot I think I would've fallen down if he hadn't been holding me up. Our tongues danced together and he tangled his hands in my soft, glowing hair; my hands lightly gripped his shoulders.

He pulled away for a minute once he realized I was a ghost and the fact that I was dead. He looked at me alarmingly, with an urgent tone in his low, velvety voice.

"Susannah, get back in your body." I laughed. I don't think it's that easy.

"I can't Jesse. My body is _dead_. My soul, though, is completely alive and yours for eternity." I smiled a little, but then an awful thought hit me: my family.

I would never speak to them again. They'd never see me again. I looked worriedly into Jesse's eyes, and he understood immediately; he squeezed me gently.

"It will be okay, Susannah. We will deal with that later, I promise." Another appalling thought hit me. No pun intended...

I gazed into Jesse's eyes concerningly.

"Jesse, because I died in Paul's room, does that mean I will haunt it forever?" Jesse just laughed.

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**I know that may not b the way you pictured ghosts and dying and moving around and everything from the books, but whatev. Anywho... (isn't that fun?) did you like it? Let me know by reviewing... and no, it's not over. review, please... love, panda**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hope you didn't cry too much over the last chapter... keep reading and reviewing!! love, panda**

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Suze's POV

Right after Jesse started laughing at me, we both noticed Paul and his open mouth staring in disbelief at me and Jesse.

"But-- you-- I-- I _killed_ you!" I giggled a little and nodded.

"Yeah, you did. You'll be charged with first-degree murder and spend the rest of your life in jail. Kudos for you for lifetime achievement." I said the last sentence with true genuine sincerity, with just a _touch _of sarcasm. Jesse glared at him and tightened his grip around my waist as if Paul could try and hurt/kill me again.

Paul started shaking a little and sat down on the bed. I think he may have been having a seizure or something from the shock of killing me and everything, but whatever. Who really cares?

I looked at Jesse for a minute after glancing at Paul.

"Jesse, can we go see Father Dominic?" He nodded and took my hand as we teleported to Father D's office. It was similar to doing it before: the blur, the bright light, the endless darkness. Then we saw Father Dominic. He stared at both of in shock.

"Susannah, what did I say about doing something rash?" I laughed and smiled at him, snaking my left arm around Jesse's waist.

"Um, Father D, Paul Slater kind of killed me because I wouldn't have sex with him." He sighed.

"Susannah, I might call you a smart girl, but look where you ended up!"

"It's okay, Father, it really is. It's actually quite fantastic." I looked up at Jesse in admiration, but he stared straight ahead at Father Dominic.

"Susannah, you might be the ghost most excited to be dead I have ever seen... anyway, where is your body?"

"Paul's room. But don't tell anyone you know, or else, you know, they might think you killed me or something..." He nodded and then directed his attention to Jesse.

"Jesse, what do you think of this?" Jesse was silent for a minute, and then answered him softly.

"Well, Father Dominic, I apologize if I sound self-centered or vain, but now I have her all to myself." He smiled a little and squeezed my shoulder. "But, from the view of a living human, this is quite an awful thing." Before Father Dominic could respond, I interjected.

"Father D, can you tell David... that I'm okay? Tell him I'm with Jesse." Father Dominic gave me a strange look, but nodded. Jesse glanced alarmingly at me.

"You don't think that's the reason you're still here, do you?" Crap. I didn't even think of that, but... that can't be it.

"No, I don't think so. The reason I'm here is to be with you." Jesse didn't say anything, but leaned down and kissed me. That kiss quickly turned into a full-fledged make out session, complete with tongue and hands everywhere but where I wanted them to be. I caught a glimpse of Father D turning away in embarrassment. I broke away for a split second to reassure Father Dominic of my fine-ness. Jesse gave a complaining moan.

"Father D, you are absolutely forbidden to worry about how I died at such a young age and how I had my whole life ahead of me. You know why?" I didn't let him answer.

"Because without Jesse, I wouldn't have _had_ a future. I would've been roaming the earth as an empty shell looking for love but would never find it. Because it was always right in front of me." He nodded.

"And Father? Tell them to put my grave by Jesse's." He nodded again.

"But won't they find that a little weird?"

"I have been known to be a very weird person, Father D." Then Jesse and I disappeared to my room to talk. We sat on my bed in a comfortable silence until I started whimpering pathetically.

"Jesse, I'm going to miss them. I don't wanna... I don't wanna see them cry over me. I don't know if I could do that." Jesse enveloped me in his arms and I nestled into the crook of his left arm.

"Susannah, if it will bother you that much, we could go... some place else." He said slowly. A very wonderful thought jumped into my head.

"Like a honey moon?" He smiled a little.

"I suppose, if you want it to." Moohahaha. He must not realize what a honey moon is defined as...

"Well, you know, to go on a honey moon we have to get married first." I whispered, gazing up into his gorgeous eyes. I felt his muscles stiffen under me.

"Querida." He said with a slightly warning tone to it.

"Jesse, we're not getting any older... don't try to use that on me. Don't even. Why not? Are you scared you might fall out of love with me?" Jesse chuckledand shook his head.

"Querida, all I'm saying is that we don't have to rush. We've got all of eternity ahead of us. Be patient." He kind of made sense, but still. I am not a very patient person. One might even call me impatient.

"I'm not good at being patient."

"I know, Susannah, I know." He continued.

"I want you to know, querida, that I love you very much and nothing could ever change that, but let's get over your death first..." He trailed off, realizing he didn't make any sense because of the impromptu honey moon he had suggested earlier.

"That doesn't make any sense. And besides, there is no way in hell I'm sticking around to see my family and friends weep over my death. Don't make me leave without you." I said slightly jokingly.

"We'll talk to Father Dominic about it tomorrow, Susannah, I promise."

**Review! I'll post tomorrow or the next day... love panda. and yes, all of those periods are completely necessary.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks for reading and reviewing... :) love, panda**

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Suze's POV

Jesse and I were sitting on the beach watching the waves crash against the tired sand. The sun was beginning to set, but then I realized that ghosts don't really sleep; they don't need to.

"Jesse, what do ghosts do at night?" He was very quiet for a minute, stroking my hair, and attempting to think up a reasonable explanation so that I couldn't make the conversation turn sexual.

"Well, querida, you can do whatever you like. I read in your bedroom, tried to keep an eye on you before you went and died."

"Didn't you get bored those hundred and fifty years with no one to talk to?"

"Sometimes, yes. But then you came along and there was someone to talk to, someone to..." His voice and eyes drifted distractedly as I peered up into his face, finishing his sentence for him.

"Kiss?" A smile cracked his once-serious face. I shot him a few more questions.

"I know ghosts, like, live in the same clothes forever. But does that mean that those clothes can't come off?" He raised one eyebrow at me with a cute little half-smile.

"They can come off, if you want them to." I guess he realized that sounded very sexual and suggestive, because he scrunched up his face. I decided to be the reliever of his stress.

"They don't have to come off today, though." He nodded. "Another question. Can ghosts get married?"

"If they can find someone to perform the ceremony; or if they can find someone to... love." He looked up and into my eyes, slipping a hand behind my neck to pull my face closer to his and pressing his lips onto mine.

"We're in luck, then." I said quickly, breaking away after a good minute of kissing. I was thinking of Father Dominic. Moohaha.

We were quiet for a few minutes, and then I asked him the most important one I could think of. At the moment...

"Can ghosts have sex?" I blurted it out before I could change my mind. I inched myself on to his lap, one of my favorite positions to be in. He'd even had an erection a few times before... (this was one of those times) but I'd never said anything about it. Especially when I was on his lap and he claimed to be 'just a friend' or some other crap like that. He wrapped his arm around my waist and gripped me tightly.

"Where do you come up with these questions, Susannah?"

"That doesn't answer the question." Jesse sighed.

"Okay, then. Well, yeah, I suppose... not that I've ever tried it, though." I sensed him blushing and turned my face up to look at his. He was, and he was looking down to avert his gaze from my eyes.

"There's a first time for everything." Then an interesting thought came to mind.

"Jesse!," I said with fake horror, "Does that mean... you're a _virgin_?" He knew I was doing this to make him blush, and he also knew he couldn't stop himself from doing so. I turned around and positioned one knee on either sides of his hips, bringing our lower halves in a closer proximity. I'm not going to be the one to say that's a bad thing, either.

"Yes, querida, if it really matters that much to you." I slipped my arms under his arms and brought them around to grip his shoulders, moving my face closer to his.

"You know I love you, right?" Jesse didn't say anything to my proclamation of love, just started kissing me. And this time we didn't have to worry about other people seeing me make out with air. Because they couldn't see either of us, which made me cry. On the inside, of course. Besides, can ghosts even cry? I don't think so. End of topic.

I suddenly remembered my family again.

I took my lips away from his slightly reluctantly and rested my head on his shoulder. Jesse didn't say anything, just rubbed my back.

"It's okay, querida. Like I said earlier, we can go away."

"But it has to be soon, before they find out... can it _pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease _be a honey moon?" I stuck out my bottom lip just a bit and looked him in the sexy eyes. He sighed.

"Susannah, in the morning. It's too late right now." We were quiet for a few minutes before I asked him an obvious question I should've asked him a long while ago, before we even started this conversation.

"Jesse, do you?" I lifted my head and looked at his face. He raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"Do I what?"

"Do you-- do you _want _to marry me?" I said very, very softly.

"Yes, yes, querida. What on earth would make you think otherwise?" I replaced my head on his shoulder.

"Just making sure." My family came back into my mind. Cringe. Jesse touched the side of my face and tilted it up towards his.

"Querida, are you okay?" Suddenly all the anger I had about being dead suddenly pent up in my voice box, just waiting to explode. And damn, did it explode.

"NO, GODDAMN IT!! I AM _NOT _OKAY!! I just died and I'm never going to speak to my family AGAIN!!" I couldn't look him in the eye right then, nor could I even look at his face. I could only look down.

I didn't need to look at him to know he was hurt. Nevertheless, his strong hands rubbed circles on my back, but it didn't help too much. All I could feel right now was pain. I mean, I love Jesse more than anything.

But he was only one part of my living life.

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**Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez press that little button down there that says 'review'... i love you guys sooooooo much!! love, panda**

**P.s. I'm writing a brand new story for Mediator called "The Worst Kind of Irony". Here's your sneak peek summary.**

**But when Suze's abusive boyfriend turns out of control, she turns to long time friend Jesse for comfort and solace. They both find themselves falling for each other, but Jesse has a girlfriend. And it's not Suze.**

**Pretty please read and review it!! I know you guys will love it. Please? love, panda**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, I don't know if I have all of the marriage words right, but whatever. I found the vows on the internet, plus a little bit of my imagination. Deal with my middle school intelligence, here, people.**

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Jesse's POV

It hurt me to see how much pain she's going through. And it seems like... so long, since I've had that sort of pain. I wish so much that I could make it all go away, but honestly, I don't know how. Maybe I can talk to Father Dominic about it.

Speaking of which, we walked, not teleported, that morning around nine to his office to talk about marriage. When Susannah mentioned it, Father Dominic didn't look the least bit surprised.

"Are you two sure you want to do this?" Susannah opened her mouth to say something, but I said what she was going to say for her.

"More than anything, Father." She looked up and grinned at me. I wrapped my arm around her waist and gave it a little squeeze.

"And when would you two like this done?" The good Father inquired quizzically. Susannah spoke for me this time.

"As soon as possible, Father, before they... before they really find my body. I don't want to stick around to see them weep about me. I don't know if I could do that or not, Father D." He nodded.

"Well, if you want it as soon as possible, then give me twenty minutes to get ready. That means you've got twenty minutes to come up with your vows." I don't know much about weddings, but I do know that that's not much time. Susannah and I sat in chairs across from each other in the Father's office while he scurried away with his Bible. I took a pen and a piece of paper; Susannah did the same. She had found a book of vows and was flipping through it. I did the same with another book that had been strategically placed and compiled bits and pieces of my favorites into one that formed to our circumstances.

_Querida, as I give myself to you my mind is clear and my commitment  
is strong and without reservation. I take you to be my partner forever and all of eternity.  
I will never leave you nor forsake you;  
I will spend all my days, all my nights, at your side.  
We will share an eternity of immeasurable love._

There. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

Suze's POV

Hmm... I was never very good at this kind of stuff... but, here's what I came up with.

_Where there has been cold,  
you have brought warmth;  
where my life was dark,__ you have brought light._

_Where there were Skittles,_

_You brought M&Ms_

_Jesse, I swear on my very own deathbed to be yours forever_

Father D came back and looked at us.

"Are you ready, Jesse and Susannah?"

"Father Dominic, I think it is very sexist that you said Jesse's name first because he's a man." Father D rolled his eyes and I smiled. I think I was just trying to crack a joke to crack my nervousness. I was freakishly impatient about what would come after the wedding, but also, I was scared, whether I knew it or not. Father Dominic motioned for us to come stand by each other.

Jesse and I stood in front of each other, and I couldn't help myself from Melting as I gazed into those deep, intelligent eyes. Father Dominic rambled on about the stuff that they usually say at weddings. After his speech he gestured for Jesse to say his vows.

_"_Querida, as I give myself to you my mind is clear and my commitment is strong and without reservation. I take you to be my partner forever and all of eternity. I will never leave you nor forsake you; I will spend all my days, all my nights, at your side. We will share an eternity of immeasurable love." I smiled weakly, in awe of those amazing words that he'd come up with, (about me!) and whispered my vows.

"Where there has been cold,you have brought warmth; where my life was dark, you have brought light. Where there were Skittles, you brought M&Ms. Jesse, I swear on my very own deathbed to be yours forever. I love you._"  
_

"Jesse de Silva, do you hereby take Susannah Simon to be your lawfully wedded wife; in sickness and in health; in the good times and the bad; in poverty and in wealth?" Jesse glanced at me before answering.

"I do." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Susannah Simon, do you hereby take Jesse de Silva to be your lawfully wedded husband; in sickness and in health; in the good times and the bad; in poverty and in wealth?" My eyes were still closed and I paused to breathe again before responding.

"I do." Father Dominic smiled a huge smile.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. Jesse, you may kiss your bride." Jesse turned to face me and placed a hand on my cheek before whispering and kissing me very softly, "I love you, querida."

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After the wedding, because it was just now ten o'clock in the morning and they would soon be discovering my body, Jesse and I sat in the Mission's courtyard to talk about where we wanted to go.

"If we went to Antarctica, would we still be cold?" Jesse smiled and shook his head at my ludicrous question.

"You don't really want to go to Antarctica, do you now?" Jesse said quietly. It was my turn to shake my head.

"Well... what about Florida?" Jesse suggested.

"No. I want to be out of the country." I said firmly. I was going to be very stubborn about this condition, too.

"You know where I've always wanted to go?" I continued. "Is the European countryside." Jesse nodded his head slowly, contemplating this idea. I don't think it sounded _too _bad...

"Okay, querida, but to go there, we need to find a picture of it." I then proceeded to sneak into Father D's office and google 'European countryside', coming up with some beautiful pictures. Jesse appeared beside me as I pointed to the picture I liked the most. He took my hand.

"One, two, three." And we were off.

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**The next chapter's going to be a good one... love, panda**

**p.s. please review...**


	13. Chapter 13

**This is where the action gets good... thanks for being patient. And I know a bunch of people seem OOC, but honestly, I had no idea how to make Father Dominic react, because he should b sad that Suze's dead, but he can still see her... u see my confusion?? Read and review, people, read and review. love, panda**

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Suze's POV

We got there and it was beautiful, just like the picture. Apparently when it was morning in California, it was night in Europe. Perfect.

There was a little house kind of nearby where we were. I tip toed through the walls and stole a blanket. What? I'd return it in the later, in the morning, or at least after we were done. Mmm...

I laid it down on the ground and gulped. Do I really want to do this? Yes, of course I do. I _love _Jesse more than anything. Of course I want to do this. But then why the hell am I so nervous? Why the hell am I so... scared?

Jesse patted the ground next to him where he was lying down, gesturing me to lie down next to him. I took a deep breath and sat down. Jesse stared at the sky for a few minutes before asking me something.

"Susannah, you seem very nervous, so skittish. Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to if you don't want to." I responded immediately before I could change my mind, or at least second guess my thoughts.

"Yes, I want to do this, and yes, I am nervous." Jesse turned to face me.

"Is it a good kind of nervous, querida?" Jesse said very softly. I gazed deep into those gorgeous deep pools of intelligence where his eyes are and nodded. Then he slipped a hand behind my neck and started kissing me. I pulled away before we got really into it and sent him a terrified-deer-in-headlights look, which hopefully translated to, 'Go slow. Be gentle.' I let my trembling hands go places I've only dreamed of, and Jesse did the same. A few thoughts occurred to me as we kissed and took each others' clothes off.

One, Jesse seemed just as nervous as I was. That's not a side of him I've ever seen before. Jesse is always so sure of himself, and he at least acts like he knows what he's doing. Even though he's a virgin just like me, I knew in my heart that Jesse knew _exactly _what he was doing.

Two, because he said he was a virgin, and I completely believed him, I am most likely and hopefully the first naked woman he's ever seen. That little thought gave me the warm fuzzies in my chest, which had Jesse's hands _all _over it. This, my friend, is not a bad thing.

Every few minutes, Jesse would ask me one of the following questions: 'Are you okay?' 'Is this okay?' 'Does this feel alright?' Or some variation of those. The answer was always the same though, regardless of my actual feelings: yes. I was nervous as hell. I was scared as hell. But I was positive that I wanted to do this. I didn't even try to consider _not _doing it.

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Damn. Nobody ever tells you how much it _hurts_. I'm serious. I was close to tears, and Jesse could tell, placing his hand on my cheek. I think he felt bad, like _he_ made it hurt or something. Well, technically he did, but not on purpose. He gave me a look that said, 'I'm sorry if I hurt you. What can I do to make you feel better?'.

I avoided his eyes and instead snuggled into his chest. We stayed like that for a minute, and then Jesse asked me a question.

"Querida, are you all right?" I grunted. He touched a finger to my chin and tilted it up towards his face and looked into my eyes. I smiled weakly and Melted into those beautiful wells of silent integrity. Then I laid my head back on his chest.

"Were you scared, querida?" I grunted again. I think Jesse took that as a yes, because he whispered, his mouth in my hair directed at my ear:

"I was too." Those three little words made my heart sing, like everything was going to be okay. I decided to ask him a question that was kind of obvious, but I still wanted an answer for it.

"Did you like it?" I think I heard him laugh a little at that one, which made me scowl. "What? I just wanted to know!" I whined defensively.

"Of course I liked it, Susannah. What would make you think otherwise?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that we were both nervous and scared as hell." A distant smile crossed his face, and his eyes weren't with it.

"What are you doing?" He looked down and smiled again at me. This time his eyes were with it.

"Replaying it in my mind." I came up with the queen of comebacks, a true pick up line for the books.

"Why replay it in your mind when you can replay it in real life?" He gave me another cute little half smile, and off we went.

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**REview please.**


	14. Chapter 14

**MAJOR Thanks to ekmemerald, who basically inspired this wonderful chapter. I love you all.**

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After round two (which was much better than round one because our hands were not shaking and we had an idea what it was we were doing. I was also not nervous or scared. Carry on...) , we put our clothes back on, which was a true disappointment to me, by the way. I don't see why we can't just walk around naked, considering it would greatly benefit my libido and most likely my general dead health, AND no one can see us. Well, except Father Dominic, who would probably scream like a little girl when he saw us f'ing in the hall closet... or just in the hall… that could be fun. But, Jesse would probably disapprove.

Also, Paul could see us. Putting clothes back on now.

I closed my eyes to blink and when I opened them I was in Shadowland once again. Oh, joy. Jesse's here too.

I was surrounded with a terribly bright light surrounded by complete darkness; and in the middle of the light stood none other than Chariot Guy. I was pulled by another magnetic force to him. But... why isn't Jesse coming with me?

Jesse just stood back and stared at his feet, rubbing his hands together nervously. Chariot Guy spoke.

"Susannah Simon," he boomed. "You have been recommended by fellow dead soul Jesse de Silva." Curse Jesse. And his nonexistent grandchildren.

Chariot Guy stared at me expectantly. Then it hit me and I came back to reality.

"Recommended for... what?"

"Recommended for life, Susannah." I froze. Jesse did WHAT?!

"B-b-b-but... I don't _want _be alive again. I want to be with Jesse." Chariot Guy stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"And... why was I recommended again? I missed that small detail." I smiled my cutest smile.

"You were recommended because..." But I heard that deep, sexy, _perfect_ voice behind me finish that sentence for me.

"Because, querida. Because I love you." I melted and gazed into his eyes, not daring to say a word.

"You need your chance at life again. You're so young... and so full of life. It would be too selfish to keep you for myself." I think I almost saw a glimmer of suggestiveness in his deep eyes. Dammit, Jesse doesn't realize how selfish he really is. He's giving me up to Life so he doesn't look selfish, which means he is selfish for worrying about his non selfishness and not my sexual needs. Damn.

"Oh, no, Jesse." I said quickly. "It would not be selfish at all. It would be the best thing you have ever done in your dead life. Besides... we're _married_. And we had _sex_." Jesse started blushing, but good for him, Chariot Guy continued filing his fingernails.

"What am I supposed to do without you? You're all. I. Want." I gripped his shirt collar. Jesse sighed and looked down at his feet again. This could turn into a horrible habit. I tilted his head up with one finger.

"Look at me. I. Love. You." Stupid Chariot Guy butt in.

"She has to go now if she's going to go. She has to go before they find her body and know that she is Dead. We need that body to go back into." My mind flashed to Jesse, and how he wouldn't be able to come back with me without a body. Wait... couldn't I do some shifting and bring his body back here? Could that work? I asked Chariot Guy.

"Well, yes, I suppose. But you would be risking a great deal of danger and phylosiphical harm if you do so." What's a little danger and phylosiphical harm for someone you love?

"And you would have to do it all within an hour of returning to life." Whoa. Just my luck to have a time limit.

"And if I can't or don't?" I wasn't really sure if I wanted to hear the answer or not.

"Then both you and Jesse will turn to dust." That's kind of weird, but oh well. At least we'd be dust together. I asked Jesse his opinion on the matter.

"Jesse, what do you think of this?" His eyes looked troubled, which never meant a good thing. He looked into my eyes and whispered, putting a hand on my dead cheek,

"Don't do it, querida. It's not worth the risk." Damn, he can be _so_ frustrating. I stood on my tippy toes and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"But it's definitely worth the reward."

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**Again, I give mostly full credit to ekmemerald and Meg Cabot. But not all of it, of course, because that would be selfless. ;) I give myself credit for the cliffhanger. And the kissing. love, panda**


	15. Chapter 15

**Umm... i don't know what to say. love, panda**

**Disclaimer: I own neither Jesse the sex god or Suze the butt kicker. sigh.**

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Jesse looked as if he were contemplating this offer in his head, but I didn't give him a chance to say no. I turned to Chariot Guy.

"I'm ready." Chariot Guy nodded, and Jesse reached out an arm to stop me, and that was the last thing I saw before getting my body back.

Everything was completely black. Then it was a shiny rainbow. Then a swooshing bright light and I found myself back in my unharmed body. That's kind of weird, if I do say so myself.

Paul was still having his little seizure on the bed, and I, as usual, ignored his presence. I ran out the door of his room, thundered down the marble staircase, and left his house with a few strange looks from various servants and maids and such, but not before calling a taxi to the Carmel Historical Society

The taxi arrived in minutes and we zoomed off to the Society. I thrust a ten into the driver's hands and zipped out the door into the Historical Society. I started talking to the guy at the desk.

"Do you have any thing from the Carmel are from eighteen fifty?" The guy nodded and pointed me to a rack of belt buckles. Wonderful.

"Anything from the de Silva family?" The guy shrugged. What a wonderful staff they have these days. I looked at the rack of buckles and suddenly found myself overwhelmed. Then I turned to the side and saw a portrait of none other than Jesse. W. O. W. I waved the guy over.

"How much for this?" I pointed to the painting, and noticed they hadn't really captured Jesse's eyes right. Well, the color and everything was right, but they didn't get the bit that made me Melt. No siree Bob, not at all.

"Fifty two hundred." I whistled. That was a lot of money, but definitely worth it. I pulled out my emergency credit card and shoved in the poor guy's hands. He slid it through the machine and started typing some numbers in.

"Would you like to save fifteen percent right now by joining our rewards program?" He asked innocently. Why the hell did the _Historical Society _have a rewards system? I shook my head impatiently.

"Can I have your home phone number?" I rattled it off.

"What about your e-mail address?" Now I was getting pissed.

"Dude, just take the money and give me the painting!! I'm in a hurry." I left him, confused, with my credit card and grabbed the painting, running out the door. I hailed another taxi and took it back home.

"Oh, hi, Susie! Where have you been?" I ignored my mom and rushed upstairs. I heard her mutter something like, "Kids these days," or something else that annoying parents like to say to be derogatory.

I placed the painting in the middle of my room and thought about what I was going to do. I realized I didn't have much time, I only had forty three minutes left before I become a dust bunny. I thought about Jesse until he came. He looked at me with worried and concerned eyes, crossing his arms rather defensively. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his cold torso, melting in his embrace. He murmured in my ear, "Querida, please remember that whatever happens, I will always love you, no matter what." It was with those heartfelt and encouraging words that I pictured Carmel in eighteen fifty. The shifting process was similar to coming back to my body from ghost form. It all went black, rainbow, a screaming bright light and then I was there. I looked around, and this was my room. This was my room a hundred and fifty years ago. The furniture was new for the time, a shiny finish on the light wood. But I couldn't waste time. I had to find Jesse.

I opened the door and went downstairs carefully, but I still managed to bump into someone.

"Where in tarnation did you come from?" It was a guy with a gray curly mustache, wearing cowboy boots with his hands on his hips. He was probably taking in my strange appearance: jeans, some old running shoes, and a black hooded sweat shirt. My hair was also in a pony tail. His disapproving eyes fell from my head to my shoes, tutting his disapproval. He didn't look very helpful, but it didn't hurt to try.

"Excuse me, sir," I said in my most polite voice, "Would you happen to know a man named Jesse de Silva?" He looked at me like I was crazy.

"I know a _Hector _de Silva, ma'am, but certainly no _Jesse_." Duh. Only his mom called him Jesse.

"Oh, yes, sir, that's who I'm looking for. Would you be kind enough to point a lady in the right direction?" His eyebrows raised at the fact that I was a lady, but whatever. He nodded.

"Yes'm, I believe Mr. de Silva went into town to get his boots polished. A man can't find a decent boot polisher without going into town."

"And how would you get to town, sir?" He rolled his eyes (the nerve!) at me and started rattling off directions.

"Go down the main road for about a mile and then turn right at the big cactus, and keep going for about another mile." Uh oh... I shifted my weight to my left foot.

"Um, sir, this sounds like a lot, but would you happen to have a horse I could borrow? I'll bring her right back, I swear." I held up three fingers. "Scout's honor." He looked at me strangely again, but nodded and led me to a stable, where they had a giant white stallion. This was going to be interesting.

"Well, little missy, have you ever ridden a horse before?"

I lied. "Oh, yeah, lots of times."

"Okay, then. Rocky here will bring you to town in no time. 'E's the fastest horse I've got." I thanked Mustache Man profusely and opened the gate to get on Rocky. I barely managed to clamber on to him, but manage I did. I gripped my legs tightly around Rocky's torso and snapped the reins to get going. Rocky, apparently, didn't like that. He did a horse-wheelie, kicking his front legs up and nearly throwing me off. Mustachio laughed his head off and slapped his knees a couple of times before instructing Rocky on how to get to town. I didn't know how much good it would do, but again, it never hurts to try.

Luckily, I saved myself from breaking my neck by holding on with my legs and squeezing my arms around his neck. I leaned in to Rocky's mane and whispered, "Go to town, boy." Rocky left the stable in a full gallop in the direction Mustache Man had pointed.

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**Read and review, please. love, panda**


	16. Chapter 16

**I think this is a pretty good chapter. Read and review, pretty please!! love, panda**

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Rocky was faster than the fastest car I'd ever been in, which would be a convertible Ferrari. No, it did not belong to me or anyone I know. And no, I did not drive it. Anywho...

I managed to figure out that by squeezing my legs together around Rocky's stomach made him go faster. So, therefore, I squeezed very hard a number of times. I glanced at my watch: I had thirty seven minutes before me and Jesse both turn to dust. Joy.

We flew by a big cactus. We didn't turn like Mustache guy said to. I yanked on the reins as hard as I could, hoping this would make Rocky stop. It did, to my good fortune. Then I directed him to the right by yanking to the side with the left side of the rein. Then I squeezed my legs for all I was worth. We were off once more.

We made it to town. I chained Rocky up at the horse chaining up place, which looked kind of like a bike rack. Now all I have to do is find Jesse. How hard can it be to find a boot polisher? I looked down the street and saw the following signs:

Seniorita's Leather Polishing

Beth Ann's Books

Rattlesnake Polishing Parlor

Numero Uno Boot Polishing

Harry's Pub

and...

Boot Polishers

This was so unreal. Why the hell did one town need _four _boot polishers? This is insane. But you have to start somewhere. I ran down to Seniorita's Leather Polishing. I was greeted by what Maria de Silva look alike, only trashier. She had a fake beauty mark on her left cheek and the most unholy amount of eyeliner I have ever seen, along with a _deep _v-neck, showing off ungodly and massive amounts of cleavage. She was smoking a cigar with an unpleasant frown on her face.

"Seniorita? What can I do for you?! You have no boots!" She threw her hands up in rage and flicked cigar dust in my direction. I ignored her and glanced around the tiny parlor I was in, and saw two tall guys with rags in their grease covered hands. But no customers. Does one even question this lack of polishees?

I sprinted out the door before she could coat me in more dust, and made my way down to The Numero Uno Boot Polishing, where they had many more customers, but none of them were Jesse. I was just about to leave, when a creepy looking nineteenth century pervert gently grabbed my ponytail and dragged me toward him. I turned around to see him, and he reached out and squeezed my left breast. My mouth fell open in astonishment. My right hand flew up and punched him in the face and he fell to the ground.

Everybody stopped what they were doing and stared at the sound of the broken nose. I pointed to a husky but friendly looking guy and directed my speech at him.

"You there. Sock him again for me when he wakes up." Everyone gaped at me as I slowly walked out the door and started running down to the Rattlesnake Polishing Parlor.

I jogged into the Rattlesnake place and stared, not at all of the people who were there, but what they were _doing_. I don't really think this needs explaining, but here goes nothing. There were women straddling every man in there, _with _the cigars in their mouths. They guys had their hands inside the womens' dresses, and the women didn't even punch them. I left immediately because this is not a place Jesse would hang out at. I sighed and crossed my fingers as I went across the road to Boot Polishers, glancing at my watch. Twenty three minutes.

I poked my head inside and my eyes were drawn to Jesse right away. He had just started getting his boots polished, which seemed to be the only thing going on here, rather than at the Rattlesnake Polishing Parlor. And the Numero Uno Boot Polishing. And the other place. Shudder.

Jesse was wearing different clothes than his ghost did, which made sense. He was wearing a dark red, almost maroon but not, frilly jacket. I almost laughed, but decided it would be derogatory to his heritage. He was also wearing some super tight dark, denim blue jeans that hugged him in _all_ the right places, if you know what I mean. Wink Wink.

I think I wasted five minutes staring.

Finally, I went up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"May I help you, miss?" It stung a little, how polite he was being. And how he didn't appear to know who i was.

"Uh, yeah." I grabbed on to him and squeezed, picturing my room back in Carmel. Everything went black, then a rainbow, and then a freakishly blinding white light. I woke up in my room on the floor next to Jesse's body. I summoned Jesse in my mind. He appeared almost instantly, staring down at his body in disbelief. I stood up and went over to him, placing my hands on his shoulders and tilting his head so he was looking down at me.

"Listen," I whispered, "one more kiss just in case this doesn't work?" I made the right corner of my mouth turn up and Jesse cringed a bit at it not working out. Then, leaning down and taking my face in both of his hands, he kissed me in that very light way that he does that makes me want him _so_ bad. I held his hand and dragged him over to his body. We both murmured, simultaneously, I might add, "I love you," and then he stepped into his body. As soon as the tip of his boot touched his shoulder, a panicked look crossed his face as he was sucked into his body like a vacuum cleaner. I crossed my fingers and crouched down, my face over his. He didn't move.

Tears sprung to my eyes at the thought of losing him forever. I ran my fingers through his hair and held his hand, which was _warm_. Jesse had _warmth_. If he got out of this alive, this could make for some very different sexual experiences.

"Querida..."

Which we tested as soon as he said that.

**Review, please. Love, panda**


	17. Chapter 17

**please review, love panda**

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In the heat of the moment neither of us brought up a condom. Hell, did Jesse even know what a condom was?

I had a feeling I would pay for not bringing it up.

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After we had finished and put our clothes back on, this awful realization hit me. I gasped and Jesse turned to face me with a concerned expression on his sexy face.

"What's wrong, querida?" He frowned just a little bit.

I think I am about to go into hysterics.

"Jesse," I tried to say as slowly as I could to prevent hyperventilation, "oh my God. We just had unprotected sex and I could be getting pregnant right now." With each word I poked my stomach to emphasize the important-ness of this situation. His eyebrows rose and color flushed to his cheeks. I started breathing faster. A lot faster. Jesse wrapped me up in his arms and held me.

"Querida, calm down. Everything will be okay..."

"No it won't!" I screeched. "In that ejaculate there are million bajillions of sperm. And it takes ONE!! ONE to get me pregnant!!" I was long gone now. All marbles ran out of my ears and on to the floor. I could tell Jesse was getting nervous, too by the way his muscles stiffened and he tightened his grip on my waist.

"Susannah, it will be okay. We're married..." This was a useless defense.

"But I'm only _eighteen_. I don't want to have a baby _now_!!" I whined pathetically. Jesse chuckled a little, probably trying to relieve himself of nervousness, which he obviously had a lot of.

"What are we fussing about? What are the odds that you are pregnant, querida?" I sighed. Did he still not get this?

"Very high, Jesse, very high. And what do you have to say about it? You don't have to carry this baby around for three quarters of a year and then push it out of a hole the size of a half dollar!!" I raised my arms in hysteria as Jesse blushed, but didn't say anything in response. I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together. I turned around and put my hands on his strong shoulders. He stared me in the eye expectantly.

"Okay, listen to me. You are going to go out right now and buy about ten pregnancy tests and a _bunch_ of condoms in whatever size you need. Kapieche?" Then I realized Jesse may or may not have any idea what either of those things are when I saw the confused look on his face. I sighed and pulled him up, grasping his hand tightly.

"Never mind. I'm coming with you." He was about to protest, but I went downstairs and took the car keys before he had any choice but to follow me. We got into the car in silence and I drove to the nearest Walgreens. I got out, dragged him into the store and went to the aisle with the stuff that we needed, since it was obviously all going to be in the same section. I steered him toward the condoms.

"Find some. And make sure they're the right _size_, Jesse. You are not an extra-small. Or even a medium, for that matter." I touched my hand to his shoulder and reached up to whisper in his ear, "Just get the biggest size they have." He was blushing furiously again, but I was too hyped up and nervous about my impending pregnancy to care. I sighed and shuffled over to the pregnancy test section, which was barely ten feet from where Jesse was standing. I grabbed an armful of the first one I saw and put it them in a little red basket that Jesse had snagged on the way in. He was still staring, kind of in awe and kind of in shock at the wall of condoms.

"Jesse, just pick some. Don't make me do it for you." Out of the corner of my eye I could see him smirking just a little bit. I looked at him.

"What?"

"Querida, would you like them 'ribbed for your comfort'?" I started choking on the gum I was chewing, and Jesse had to thump me on the back a few times to get me to stop.

"I'm going to take that as a no." I nodded and he took a couple of different boxes off the shelf. I took his hand and led him toward the check out counter, where I realized he didn't have any money. I reached in my pocket and pulled out three twenties (this crap was expensive!). I didn't bother to get the dollar or two that I should've gotten back, instead grabbing Jesse's hand and the bag of stuff and leaving. We got into the car and I started driving home. Jesse put his arm around me from the passenger seat.

"Susannah, are you okay?" I shook my head impatiently.

"Jesse, dammit," I slammed my hands on the horn to get the car in front of me to move, "I might be _pregnant_." I said the last word very, very quietly. Jesse patted my back.

"Querida, would you like me to drive home?" He asked when he saw the tears coming to my eyes. I nodded and didn't even bother to ask if he knew how to drive. I pulled the car over and got out of the driver's seat, switching with Jesse. Before he started the engine up again, Jesse whispered, "I'm sorry." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I pulled my seat belt on.

"Jesse, it's not your fault. I'm the one who didn't bring up condoms. Did you even know what a condom was until ten minutes ago?" Jesse turned the ignition and started down the road.

"I had an idea. I'd heard the word before, but honestly, I didn't really know what it was or what it was used for." I could tell he was slightly embarrassed by the subject, not that I blamed him. We drove the rest of the way home in silence, and I ran upstairs with the bag and locked myself in my bathroom. I opened the first pregnancy test that I saw and crossed my fingers as I peed on it.

I glanced after muttering a silent prayer that I wouldn't be pregnant, but there it was: two little red lines.

Positive.

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**Guess what guys? That's the end!! But I'm definitely doing a sequel. I'll probably start it as soon as I finish "The Worst Kind of Irony", my other Mediator story. Look for the sequel: the first words will be 'SEQUEL to TMAGS' (tell me a ghost story). And it will be the next story I'll write. if you have any ideas, plot lines, baby names, whether it should be a boy/girl (i'm leaning towards a boy) for my sequel, please P M me with your ideas. Thanks so much for faithfully reviewing!! see you later, love, panda  
**


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